Boomerang

I have no idea how to blog the inner workings of my mind and I realize this post is probably very vague to everyone, but me.  There was no significant event that brought me to this conclusion. I just paused for a second, realized I grew up a little, and decided it was time to go back.

I've decided to return to the States not because I am homesick and not because I am sick of Barcelona.  I came to Barcelona because I wanted to live outside the U.S. for a year...if we round up, I will have done that.  I also wanted to learn a different language.  While I am nowhere near fluent in Spanish, I have the survival basics down.  I also needed to play Peter Pan for a while...call it a quarter life crisis, reclaimed adolescence, or a delayed gap year.  There was a lot of sorting to be done in my head and heart.  That is, of course, a work in progress, but it is sorted enough to get on with the next step of my life.

Barcelona is magical and it can only be a transitionary - transformative - transgressionary place for me.    It is filled with amazing people and adventures...always seductive.  I'm also constantly broke, struggling to exist in a society where I am undocumented (the Perfectionist in me still wants to rise to challenge of "making it" here).  Since I've done what I needed to do, continuing to stay would mean Barcelona would become a distraction, a self-imposed obstacle to what I need to be doing with my life.  I could put more effort into my own version of Never Never Land or I could actually do something that would be truly meaningful to me.  As some of you know, studying acupuncture and working with trans/gender variant/other category of rad is my next big journey.

There are a lot of logistical things I need to care of now.  The tentative plan is to move back to LA for a month or so (my dad is already gleefully preparing his empty nest) to see the fam.  I haven't spent more than a week with them for almost 10 years.  I'll be applying to Wu Hsing Tao in Seattle.  Seattle is not my first choice to live in, but that is my top choice school.  If that doesn't work out, I'll try to get into an acupuncture school in San Francisco (I have fantasies of chilling in the Mission and stuffing my face with tacos all day).